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Joke of the Day

"A guy walks into a bar ... and orders a drink."

"If con is the opposite of pro it must mean Congress is the opposite of progress?"

"Tried Turkish food today... It was revolting"

"What did the pirate say as he was sailing through Jamaica? ""X marks the pot, matey."""

"FARMER: can I help you, sir? ME: this ain't my first rodeo, buddy FARMER: [narrows eyes] ME: ok maybe it is [climbs off sheep]"

"Sad to think this is the tallest I'll ever be, barring some kind of awesome mutation."

"I just bought a Pontiac that sexually identifies as a Ferrari It's a Trans Am"

"What is 6.9? Great sex interrupted by a period."

"after brexit... After brexit, papers please is the best selling game in the UK"

"A Canadian man has found a dead mouse in his McDonalds coffee. They just don't seem to put the effort into those happy meal toys anymore."