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Joke of the Day

"dyslexic x 2 1) Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He laid awake at night wondering if there really was a Dog. 2) So, the dyslexic guy goes into a bra."

"I'd rather look back at my life and say ""I can't believe I did that"" instead of saying,. ""I wish I did that."""

"Ellen pao Punchline is in the title whoops"

"My boss called in sick of me"

"Old Mr. Rosen goes to the Doctor Doctor: Mr. Rosen, I don't know how to tell you this, but you're going to have to stop masturbating. Mr. Rosen: Why? Doctor: So I can examine you."

"Did you hear about the golfer that bedded the Queen? He got a hole in one."

"Life is about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen."

"You lost me at ""my psychic said.."""

"Hey, Trivial Pursuit, way to pick a name that says ""This game is pointless."""

"Massive victory for business ethics advocates! After years of negotiation and hard work, an industry-wide agreement has finally banned opticians from using contracts containing small print."