191141

Joke of the Day

"""I saw mommy kissing santa claus"" has the same number of syllables as ""I saw someone die at Disney World."" Life's funny like that."

"A guy wakes up in the middle of the night. Goes to the toilet to take a piss, looks down and says: -You see, I get up when you need it."

"A magician's wife gives birth to a long series of brightly colored scarves"

"(: N poo Love, Australia."

"Why did Katie Holmes get rid of her fancy car? She got tired of all that Cruise control."

"Why doesn't the sun go to college? It's extremely bright, it already has 28 million degrees."

"What do you call a Frosty's prostitute? A snow blower"

"What's the difference between lust, love, and just plain showing off? Spitting, Swallowing, and gargling."

"Whats the hardest part about roller skating Telling your parents you are gay"

"You see a rat stealing pizza, I see a rat providing for his four turtle children"