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Joke of the Day

"If you say ""Starbucks"" in the mirror 3 times, a girl in yoga pants will appear, steal your hoodie and tell you the best things about Fall."

"How do you make a bitch love you? You take her to the bone zone"

"My doctor said I shouldn't binge drink, so now I just drink all the time."

"How are a pair of skinny jeans like a cheap motel? No ballroom"

"I was born caesarean. You can't really tell, although, whenever I leave the house I go out through the window."

"Who do you call if Everlast is having a heart attack? Eminem."

"There should be a second 'The Ugly Duckling' written Benjamin Button-style for all the cute kids that turn out ugly."

"If a blind girl ever tells you that you have a big cock She's probably just pulling your leg."

"Your heart! *bursts out laughing* It's an inside joke."

"My 13 year old told me this joke.... Him: I want to start a dating website for Indians.... Me: a dating website for indians? [scratching my head wtf] Him: yeah I am going to call it connect the dots."