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Joke of the Day

"The letter Q is an O smoking a cig and is therefore extremely cool"

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"Based on the reaction of the pharmacist who just sold me cold pills, I need to work on my ""I'm not going to make meth with these"" smile."
"What do you call a stock broker having sex in the middle of his work? Insid'er trading. http://i.imgur.com/oTp4lvG.gif"
"You know what they say about corn? You only borrow it..."
"Why do cows have hooves? Because they lactose."
"How is an American teen girl different from an ISIS teen girl. No differences. They both blow quite easily !"
"What's the most difficult thing about roller-blading? Telling your parents that you are a faggot!"
"I woke up and found Sarah Jessica Parkers head in my bed. I guess I pissed off the mafia."
"[date with girl I met at the park] Waiter: is everything ok, sir? Me:*fighting back the tears* Her:*sigh* he expected me to bring my dog."
"Is your fridge running? Why didn't you send it to Rio? All the best to our contestants!"