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Joke of the Day

"My wife said sex with me is like a supersoaker water gun! Just two pumps and a squirt!"

"S is my favorite letter because it changes biscuit to biscuits."

"I've conditioned myself to only poop at work. Now my bathroom smells great but I can't take more than 2 days off w/o terrible constipation."

"I would like to tell you about how I beat the Elite Four's Pokemon using only Luvdisc... But just a disclaimer, that battle is not for the faint of heart."

"I know one more duck joke! Santa Clause to the snow man: give me the carrot or I am going to blow dry you! (Ok, this one doesn't work in english)"

"My mother-in-law got into a car accident and broke both her legs and arms even god knows what a snake she is"

"My uncle's wife... My uncle's wife used to stay awake at night planning how to take the law into her own hands. She was my vigilauntie."

"What did a blind french guy said he wanted for christmas? ""All I want for christmas is yeux"""

"Dwayne Johnson has said that he would run for President... As long as he isn't up against paper, then he should win."

"How many Jews can you fit in a car? Two in the front, two in the back and none in the ash tray because the Holocaust never happened."