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Joke of the Day

"Wayne Rooney said he wants to be a manager after he retires ""Burger King or McDonalds"" was his response when asked where."

"I like sleeping outside. No hobo."

"If you ever see me cleaning out my car in the middle of winter, it's because I have drugs missing."

"What's grey and comes in pints? An elephant."

"Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, & acceptance: the five stages of watching them put lettuce on your sandwich at Subway."

"I've been supporting Tyler Perry since the beginning... I have all of his plays and movies on bootleg."

"What do you call someone who barely graduated from med school? Doctor."

"One of the greatest gifts my kids have given me is my high tolerance for alcohol."

"I don't care about all the nasty stuff people put on here about Nicki Minaj. I'll still suck her c**k anytime."

"My girlfriend is a bit like water.. She's H2O without the 2."