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Joke of the Day

"I don't care about all the nasty stuff people put on here about Nicki Minaj. I'll still suck her c**k anytime."

"[Red Lobster] Waiter: we're offering Endless Shrimp. Me: bring me the endless shrimp <5 days later> Waiter: please leave, I have a family"

"marrying ur high school sweetheart is like eating chicken tenders n being like ok cool im only eating chicken tenders the rest of my life"

"What is a Stormtrooper's favorite place to sit. A pew, pew, pew."

"Me: pretty much any name can be unisex My son Stephanie: I hate you dad"

"I got in trouble with a band recently... when I had the audacity to edit their music."

"I need a high resolution photo of Puff Daddy... ... so I can make my 1080P. Diddy joke."

"What idiot invented fire blankets? You'd think they'd be hot enough from the flames."

"What do call someone who takes care of reindeer and really enjoys it? A Jolly Rancher."

"Dear Edward, maybe the reason you can't read Bella's mind is because there's nothing in her head. Sincerely, Logic."