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Joke of the Day

"Your momma's so fat . . . She has to lift up the toilet seat to take a shit."

"I'm expended, I'm expensive, And I'm expanded. ... Ijkwim."

"Why did the golfer wear a extra pair of pants? In case he got a hole in one"

"Memo to Life: Fewer lemons. More cherries. Thanks!"

"I really love spicy foods ...but the Ghost pepper is my a-chilis heel."

"If a tattoo artist... If a tattoo artist does an absolutely perfect tattoo on only one butt cheek, is that still considered a half-ass job?"

"*knock knock* ""Sir, this is the police, open the door immediately"" ""But I'm having a poo"" ""We know sir, the phone box has glass sides"""

"What do you call a blonde in a BMW? Optional. (My manager from Croatia told me this during a shift)"

"What do you call a Mexican supremacist organization against civil rights? The Que Que Que."

"Most Fascinating Part of the Body I used to think the brain was the most fascinating part of the body but then i realized ""pssssh, look what's telling me that"""