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Joke of the Day
"I'm expended, I'm expensive, And I'm expanded. ... Ijkwim."
Next Joke
 
"With Parkinsons... Every weight is shake weight!"
"Remember, Christmas isn't about how big your tree is, or what's under it. It's about who's around it."
"What's the definition of eternity 4 blondes at a 4 way stop"
"I went to the Reddit restaurant All of its servers were busy..."
"How do you break a Pollock's finger? Punch him in the nose."
"Tickle me Elmo was recalled They forgot to give him two test tickles."
"I can totally keep secrets! It's the people I tell them to that can't!"
"People are made to be loved and things are made to be used. The confusion of this world is that people are used and things are loved."
"weed is a gateway drug. *opens gate* Welcome To CoolFunLand"