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Joke of the Day

"I used to have a bird called ""Stockholm syndrome"" who lived on my shoulder. I used to hate the bastard, but in the end, he grew on me."

Next Joke
 
"Why didn't Bono sell any wheat bread at his bakery? Cuz it's all rye, it's all rye, it's all rye."
"Wanted: A pack of Polo's, Unopened. In Mint condition"
"Your parents brought you up! Don't bring them down."
"Having persuaded autocorrect that I don't want to duck anything, I hope the council don't take my complaint about the pond the wrong way."
"Who did the pirate lose his virginity to? His first mate."
"What does Iphone7 and spermbank have in common? JACK OFF"
"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? ten-tickles"
"What do you call a whiny dog? A chi-WAAA-WAAA!!!!"
"/r/jokes wins Friend of the Planet award! for 95.002% of recylced content."