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Joke of the Day

"Today is awesome. I got pulled over by a cop on a bike. He even asked if I knew why he was ""pulling me over"" You need a ride! Duh"

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"How do tiny Mexicans cut their pizza? Little Ceasars"
"If you forget what it's like to talk on a Pay Phone, just lick the handle of a shopping cart"
"KID:Dad what's the difference between a gerbil and a rat DAD WHO IS A MAFIA BOSS:A gerbil sleeps in a cage and a rat sleeps with the fishes"
"Two guys are walking down the road and they see a dog licking himself. First guy says, ""Boy I sure wish I could do that."" Second guy says, ""I think you should try to pet him first."""
"What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business? 1. No mind. 2. No business."
"When my doctor gives me a prostate exam I like to moan ""Mmmm, deeper."" Freaks him out, but not as much as when I try to cuddle afterward."
"Any restaurant can be family style if the waiter criticizes your order"
"What do you call a Mexican who can't find his vehicle? Carlos."
"Why did the M&M 's go to college? Because they wanted to be smarties."