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Joke of the Day

"Homes are 750 square feet larger today than they were 30 years ago. Unfortunately, so are most Americans."

"Who are the fastest readers in the world? 9/11 Jumpers. They went 79 stories in 10 seconds."

"What kind of overalls does Super Mario wear? denim denim denim..."

"If you could travel the world with only one person, who would that be? Dora. She has like everything in her backpack."

"What do you call a Jewish Pokemon trainer? Ash."

"Before you reply angrily at a tweet, just ask yourself if you'd yell at a retarded kid for screaming irrelevant shit into a megaphone."

"Can we protest for a revote on People magazines Sexiest Man Alive? I think Steve Buscemi didn't get the attention he deserved"

"Cops: You were driving while intoxicated Me: I was in no condition to walk"

"WHO'S ANGRY ABOUT WHAT'S GOING ON IN WASHINGTON? AND WHY? I'M REALLY UNINFORMED."

"What is it called when Batman wants to leave Church early? Christian Bale."