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Joke of the Day
"TIL I haven't actually been having conversations with my furniture... My toaster told me"
Next Joke
"[waking from 10 yr coma] Where am I? ""Don't worry. You're home in America"" But...I'm Swedish! ""World Emperor Trump will explain everything"""
"How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? He didn't wrap his Whopper"
"Some people are complaining about the Trump Presidency... But it's oKKK with me!"
"The downside of robotic limb replacements is that they cost an arm and a leg The upside of robotic limb replacements is that they cost an arm and a leg"
"If you don't order beef for dinner... That's a missed steak."
"They say one in every four men is gay, so there must be one in my group of friends. I hope it's Michael - he's super cute."
"Sucks how Caesar died... ...Who knew he was allergic to knives?!"
"How are Harambe and the iPhone the same? it only took one extra hole to kill them both"
"Mirror, mirror on the wall, was the dwarfs' mother high when she named them all?"