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Joke of the Day

"The downside of robotic limb replacements is that they cost an arm and a leg The upside of robotic limb replacements is that they cost an arm and a leg"

"*buys extra movie ticket seat so I'll have a place to put my microwave bc I'll be damned if I'm paying that much for popcorn"

"When you see geese flying to warmer a climate ever wonder why one side of the V is longer? It's because that side has more geese."

"What if the Bad News Bears literally gave you bad news? Bear 1: You're adopted Bear 2: The cancer is terminal Bear 3: This tweet ain't funny"

"How Hitler eat a vegetable? He jew it."

"What's the difference between a whore and Nickleback? A whore doesn't always suck cock."

"""Your breathing holes are very nicely shaped"" Flirting is so easy"

"Finished my 2nd glass of wine. Husband doesn't know it yet but he has a 30 second window of getting laid before I pass ou"

"What did the philanderer say to the gardener praying in the shed? How do you stay faithful in a room full of hoes?"

"I'm concerned about my local funeral parlour closing down It's right on the high street, but every time I walk past it's dead in there"