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Joke of the Day
"I now pronounce you slowly and phonetically."
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"Sometimes the last thing people hear before they're murdered is the sound of their pen that they won't stop clicking."
"Don't tease fat girls; elephants never forget."
"An American, a British and a German walks into a busy bar... bartender says,"" GET THE HELL OUT, I GOT NO TIME FOR JOKES'."
"What did the getaway driver do after his accomplice, Rice, robbed the bank? Pilaf."
"If your cat is your ""child,"" I bet its ""grandparents"" are ""sad"""
"NIETZSCHE: god is dead! he remains dead! and we have killed him! ME AS NIETZSCHE'S LAWYER: your honour we're gonna need a recess"
"Hot singles in your area want you to come over and load their dishwasher correctly."
"I like my steak how I like my women Tinder-ized."
"What do you call a teacher who doesn't fart in public? A private tooter!"