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Joke of the Day

"When I was single, my most frequently used approach with women was to play hard to get rid of."

"[Wedding] ""...to join these two in holy matrimony. The Ring, please?"" [Maid of Honor pops tape in VCR.] [One week later: everyone dies.]"

"My father's sister is obsessed with killing germs, we call her Auntie Bacterial."

"What do you get when you cross a drunk woman with a tactical grenade? Flash-banged. ;)"

"FYI: If someone says ""I'm game,"" you can legally shoot them. You should probably check your state and local hunting regulations though."

"What do you call a gay dinosaur? A Megasaurass."

"We should rename Reddit to Redpost. Because everything is a repost."

"I've started attending a self-help group for sex addicts... I haven't got an addiction. It's just a great way of meeting sluts."

"Peter Pan is my favorite story about how running away from all your problems will allow you to remain youthful and to possibly fly someday"

"Have you read that new book on antigravity? It's hard to put down!"