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Joke of the Day

"I need a guy who's cute charming smells good smells really good like cinnamon and sugar and flaky crust and actually I just need some pie"

"The worst part of quitting drinking is how few excuses you have for your behavior"

"Why are life long overweight people funny? Growing up they hear the best jokes."

"What do you call a butler with a new set of teeth? An endentured servant"

"Knock knock? 1 Who's there? 2 Allah 1 Allah who? 2 ALLAHU ACKBAR"

"A son goes to his parents and says ""Mom, Dad... I'm gay."" The Dad immediately responds. ""HI GAY, I'M DAD."""

"I've watched three episodes of ""I Shouldn't Be Alive"" tonight, adding ""outdoor enthusiast and survival expert"" to my online dating profile."

"Went to the Optician the other day, guess whom I bumped into? Everyone."

"There was a kidnapping at my school last week... don't worry they woke him up."

"What is Michael Bay's favorite chess move? C4."