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Joke of the Day

"Audible be sponsoring so many YouTube channels you could go to ""Audible.com/ "" and type in any word you want and it would give you a free book"

"Some one gave me a broken knife 3 days ago. I didn't get the point."

"How many geese does it take to form a gaggle... 5 or more"

"Don't you hate it when you think you're about to fart and you shit on your Dad's face?"

"I went to a blind fortune teller the other day She looked into her crystal ball, and she told me there is eternal darkness in my future."

"Superman: Where's Batman? Wonder Woman: *shrugs* Firestorm: I dunno Green Lantern: ... Superman: Oh shit, we forgot Batman can't fly again!!"

"i love our new home. LA is such a safe place and- *a dog drives by holding a pistol playing tupac in an el camino* denise get in the car"

"I'm reading a book about anti-gravity I just can't put it down!"

"Me: Close your eyes. Give me your hand, darling. Can you feel my heart beating? Do you unders... Dr:(removes stethoscope) Really? Everytime?"

"your dad wrote a letter to harambe his pen is out for harambe"