154616

Joke of the Day

"Superman: Where's Batman? Wonder Woman: *shrugs* Firestorm: I dunno Green Lantern: ... Superman: Oh shit, we forgot Batman can't fly again!!"

"Why do warriors make bad business men ? They charge too much !"

"Whats the difference between a North Korean missile and a K-Pop singer? The singer can have a hit"

"All day people keep mentioning the new 20 dollar bills I check my wallet everytime somebody mentions it and mine are all still Jackson."

"The three reasons for liking a status: 1) I agree with you. 2) I realize this is about me, of course I'm gonna like it. 3) I like you."

"My brother forgot his apple today. Until he was rear-ended by a doctor."

"Friends are a lot like trees... They fall down when they are hit with an axe multiple times."

"A penny for your thoughts, Five bucks if they're naughty."

"Have you heard about these new super-sensitive condoms? After the man leaves, they hang around and talk to the woman."

"my favorite part of nascar is when I vomit all over my shirt and car after the race., desecrating the logos of the brands that enslave me"