137881

Joke of the Day

"i love our new home. LA is such a safe place and- *a dog drives by holding a pistol playing tupac in an el camino* denise get in the car"

"How much poutine was left after the hockey game? Nunavet"

"What is the difference between Donald Trump and a vibrator? A vibrator is not a genuine dick"

"What cell phone service do Stormtroopers use? AT & AT."

"Did you hear the one about the guy who was about to tell a joke and then thought better of it? He killed it."

"I was dating a midget but it didn't work out. My parents and friends looked down on her. Bonus: It was a short relationship."

"Business idea: Own a profitable business"

"Did you hear about the fly on the toilet seat? It was Saturn by Uranus."

"My wife wanted to make a joke about domestic abuse *but I beat her to it*"

"What are three words you dread the most while making love? ""Honey I'm home."""