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Joke of the Day

"Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on you. Fool me three times shame on you. It's always going to be you. It's NEVER me."

"What do you call a very smart glass of lemonade that is gay? A homo-genius mixture"

"Where do Na'vi go when they get hurt? ICU"

"wife: What's wrong? me [annoyed because the kids menu has a picture of a tree on it but they didn't give me any brown crayons] Nothing"

"If Eminem converted to Islam.. ..he'd be MuSlim Shady."

"When I was younger, I was afraid of the dark. Now I see the electric bills, and became afraid of the light."

"Two cows are standing in a field ...and one says to the other, ""Say, are you worried about this mad cow disease going around?"" And the other one says, ""Why should I care? I'm a helicopter! PFFFFFT!"""

"I guarantee you, this is a joke Donald Trump"

"Me: Can I bet $20 on the Panthers to win the Super Bowl? Government: Sorry, no Me: Ok, can I buy 1k in powerball tickets? G: Lol, of course"

"A doctor goes to write a prescription... He reaches into his pocket to take out his pen, but finds a rectal thermometer instead. Annoyed, he complains, ""Some asshole stole my pen!"""