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Joke of the Day

"When I was younger, I was afraid of the dark. Now I see the electric bills, and became afraid of the light."

"Have you ever tried sex when camping? It's fucking intense..."

"A squirrel walks into a bar high on shrooms.... ...He looks at everybody and shouts: ""YOU'RE ALL FUCKING NUTS!"""

"What happened to the brain eating zombie that went to Washington? He starved to death."

"I lost 5 followers after tweeting my non-concern for owls. I must stop being so politically controversial."

"why does the NSA hate blizzards? Because they get Snowden."

"""Why are the good ones always taken?"" - Me, staring at the assorted cookie tray"

"How does a fencer earn their karma? Ripostes."

"What's the safest font? Helmetica."

"A study has shown that women are better than men at driving in fog.. Well of course they are. They're not looking where they're going."