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Joke of the Day

"Voldemort tried to kill my grandpa twice during the war! That's why his helmet has two lighting bolts."

"She told me to give her 9 inches, and make it hurt. So i fucked her 3 times, and punched her in the nose"

"How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They just beat the walls because they are black"

"A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, ""hey, why the long face?"" The horse says, ""I have cancer."""

"My first job was a dishwasher at the National Radar Company Turns out the dishes were a lot larger than I first thought"

"What is Jackie Chan's favorite drink? WA-TAAAAH!"

"Which film star is always jumping around the forest? John Treevaulter."

"I held an orgy for my sexual dysfunction class last night. Nobody came."

"Did you hear about the newlywed couple that didn't know the difference between KY Jelly and silicone caulk? The glass fell out of their windows."

"Why did the lady go out doors with her purse open? Because she expected some change in the weather."