30983

Joke of the Day

"My first job was a dishwasher at the National Radar Company Turns out the dishes were a lot larger than I first thought"

"Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The flight attendant looks at them and says, ""I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."""

"KIDNAPPER: Get in the van ME: Oh no thanks I'm vegetarian KIDNAPPER: Oh okay sorry *drives away* {15min later} KIDNAPPER: Wait a minute, wtf"

"Nothing cuts deeper than an insult with bad grammar and a spelling mistake."

"Why did the duck fly Because he was high on Quack"

"Soon after we find out Bruce Jenner wants to be a woman, he gets into a car wreck Really getting into character I see"

"Yes it was my birthday. I'm going to start lying about my age, but say I'm older so people say how good I look for 47."

"Some random guy on the street turned me into a bottle of tequila which rather annoyed me. I hate when people Patronize me"

"I'm going to stand outside... So if anyone asks, I am outstanding."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Darth Vader Barbie ...with plastic helmet; pull the string and she sounds like James Earl Jones"