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Joke of the Day

"Why did the lady go out doors with her purse open? Because she expected some change in the weather."

"Did you hear about the Pirate suffering from scurvy? His attempts to cure it were *fruitless*."

"me: ""what is a librarian's favourite food?"" dog: me: ""SHUSHI lmao"" dog: [starts putting his toys in suitcase]"

"So a friend and I Are going to a cafe for brunch. She asked ""Do you think I should get together with Josh? You are like an 8ball to me."" I replied ""What about me?"""

"Doing the splits is easy -- slip on the first snowy step when taking the dog out and let gravity (and panic) make you an Olympic gymnast!"

"I got kicked out of a massage parlor the other day. Apparently the prostate isn't considered ""deep tissue."""

"how long is a chinese name got it ? :D"

"I met a girl with 12 nipples Which sounds funny, dozen tit?"

"Wait,,,, What does it mean when my bride uses air quotes during the vows???"

"What do you sing at a twins bat mitzvah? Happy birthday two Jews"