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Joke of the Day

"Show me a cannibal who gets sick on missionary stew... ...and I'll show you that you can't keep a good man down!"

"[presentation] GUY WITH A COMBOVER NAMED IAN: So that's our plan for the next year. Any questions? ME: Why did you call your combover Ian?"

"Everyone complains about the weather but noone's sacrificing a virgin to change it either."

"Don't bite the hand that feeds you, But don't bite any other hands either because that is how diseases are spread."

"So I heard Labour put forth a motion to build a new telescope... I guess they want to Observe-a-tory!"

"Why do polish people all have ski at the end of their name? Because they can't spell toboggan."

"Rob a bank with a Nokia How would you rob a bank with a nokia? Walk in hold up a nokia, Robber: Get the fuck down i gotta nokia Lady: Holy shit hes got a nokia AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Something like that"

"Ok, all you people who adopt dogs and put ""who rescued who?"" stickers on your car... you drive me crazy! Clearly it's ""who rescued whom?"""

"Why don't the Germans care about the word, 'nichts'? It means nothing to them."

"Sunset The first person to see a sunset was probably like well this ain't good."