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Joke of the Day

"League of Legends, Dota, and Hearthstone are now on ESPN Title"

"Misty's boss says to her: ""You've been late to work for 5 days straight! You know what this means, don't you?"" ..... ...to which Misty replied ""I SURE do! It means today must be FRIDAY!!!"""

"my cat sounds so cute when he sneezes but i really wish he'd stop wasting the coke. it's like goddamn amateur hour with him."

"Where do you drown a hipster? In the mainstream."

"Our Office Needs A 3D Printer Our boss asked the new mail-room guy to make three copies of an office key. The guy returned ten minutes later with the copies ... which he'd made on the Xerox machine."

"A judge in Oklahoma City wed a couple and then sentenced the groom to prison. That sounds redundant to me."

"What should you not put in the washer with a load full of towels? A towel full of loads"

"Funny clown joke You know why cannibals don't eat clowns? They taste funny."

"You may be able to drive but do you Avocado"

"I love strapping my kids into their car seats. It's the closest I can legally come to putting them in straitjackets."