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Joke of the Day

"Why don't the Germans care about the word, 'nichts'? It means nothing to them."

"A cashier asks a feminist, "" Cash or credit?"" She replies: "" Did you just assume my tender?"""

"You better brush your teeth everyday... Oral-B very mad!"

"What Does Every Pirate Hate? A small chest with no booty."

"I want to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather.... Instead of commenting on reddit about how many times a joke has been posted."

"Apparently someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor Bastard."

"Men want to be him. Women want to be with him. Bears want to eat him. Botflies want to lay their eggs in his skin. Fish are unaware of him."

"He told me he wanted a dirty girl so I didn't shower for two weeks. Now he won't return my calls. Forget women, MEN and their mixed signals!"

"When I asked my girlfriend why she was breaking up with me, she said ""Because you're a pedophile!"". I replied ""That's an awfully big word for a twelve year old."""

"What does a gang say on December 25th? Merry Crips-mas"