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Joke of the Day

"A child molester and a young boy are walking into the dark woods.... ""I'm scared"", said the boy. ""YOU'RE scared?? I have to walk out of here alone!"""

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"What's one thing a man doesn't want to hear the morning after? Yes, I'm completely sure."
"The best part about having a muppet for a best friend is that when you're done singing songs, BOOM free oven mitt."
"Jury awards $22 million to man locked in closet by East Cleveland police for four days with no food or toilet. R Kelly is going to sue the East Cleveland police for copyright infringement."
"TIL that 'gullible' has been removed from the latest edition of the Oxford English dictionary... Seriously. I swear."
"Every time I get a birthday card with money in it, I pretend not to notice the money and ""read"" the card."
"Did you hear about the blonde woman who has three hours of footage of raw chicken on her iPhone? The cooking instructions said remove sleeve and film."
"If I reject your call the first two times, ring me again. I'm really just testing your resolve."
"What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don't get some support soon people are going to think we're nuts."
"It's 1942, Berlin. A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest walks out."