52407

Joke of the Day

"Why can't silverware go on good road trips? Because every time they set out, they eventually come to a fork in the road."

"I was going to tell a gay joke... But fuck it."

"i hate when... ...when people ask me where i see myself in 5 years. come on guys, i don't have 2020 vision."

"Why doesn't Angelina Jolie like peaches? Because of the ""Pit"""

"Avoid office small talk by maintaining that facial expression between first sneeze and second sneeze."

"eer booze and fun!' 'WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not."

"Redditors screaming REPOST!! at everything are like grandparents. Just that they don't even seem to *like* the 'good old days'."

"You know why Mayweather won't beat Pacquiao? Pacquiao isn't his wife."

"My son is in hospital because of one little driving mistake... He beat me at Mario Kart."

"Me: Now what's the rule, son? 11yo: *sighs* If his first album came out after 2000, I can't call him a rapper. Me: You're learning..."