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Joke of the Day

"A historian and an economist are sitting on the porch of a nudist colony... The historian asks, ""Have you read Marx?"" The economist replies, ""Yes, I think it's the wicker chairs."""

"A human fart can be louder than a trombone I discovered that at my daughter's school concert."

"How can you tell if you're texting with a dyslexic pervert? You get this: ===D==8="

"and on the 7th day while God was resting Satan created the Kardashian family."

"What does Santa say when he meets your wife, your sister and your mother? HO HO HO, Merry Christmas!"

"Why do you get arrested for walking into an army base unauthorised in the USA? Because Obama doesn't like anyone sneaking in his barracks."

"I invented a figure skating move. It's called 360 degree faceplant. It's like a normal faceplant, but with a twist."

"INTERVIEWER to job applicant: ""Do you think you could come up with any reason you want this job other than your parents want you out of their house?"""

"Cop: You were speeding. Me: Objection your honor. Cop: I'm not a judge. Me: Permission to approach the bench. Cop: What? Me: Sustained."

"I would not advise turning your frown upside down. The surgery is extremely painful and not covered by most insurance."