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Joke of the Day

"i hate when... ...when people ask me where i see myself in 5 years. come on guys, i don't have 2020 vision."

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"""Nice place!"" Mmmehh ""Hungry?"" Mmmehh ""You look nice."" Mmmehh ""DO I EVEN MAKE YOU HAPPY?!?"" Mmmehh ""Mom told me not to date a goat."""
"Weed is better than beer because with weed the ugly chick stays ugly."
"Two computers are on a date. One says to the other, ""i'm not your type."""
"The seven dwarves were sitting in a sauna feeling happy so happy got up and left"
"How do you make an egg laugh? Tell it a yolk."
"Mickey Mouse divorces Minnie Mouse ""Mickey Mouse, it says here that you want to divorce Minnie Mouse because she was.... extremely silly? ""No, I said she was fucking goofy."""
"How do you circumcise a priest? Kick a little kid in the jaw."
"I got arrested for sexually assaulting my teacher I was homeschooled"
"You'll never understand unconditional love until the birth of a child. Or hear the beep of a microwave with your burrito."
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