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Joke of the Day

"If Twitter weren't for unconsidered blather, they wouldn't have named it after bird noises."

"Yo mama so fat when she bunje jumps she goes straight to hell!"

"[NSFW] Its a good thing your vagina has a sense of humor... ...otherwise it wouldn't be able to take this joke."

"I hate how my job always expects me to show up."

"What's black and white and red all over? A penguin with a rash."

"What did the Marine Biologist say when he saw two eels making love? ""It's a Moray."""

"RIP to the Italian chef, it's nice to gnocchi pasta pizzafully."

"[1st date] Her: we should keep religion out of this *religion gets up & leaves the table* Me: see what u did? *I get up and chase after it*"

"I went to the gym today. Just kidding, I walked down the block and yelled at the neighbor kids for screaming while I'm trying to nap."

"A priest checks into a hotel... says to the clerk, ""I assume the porn is disabled."" Clerk says, ""No! It's just regular porn you sick freak!"""