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Joke of the Day

"[1st date] Her: we should keep religion out of this *religion gets up & leaves the table* Me: see what u did? *I get up and chase after it*"

"What do silicon and my ex girlfriend have in common? the resistance of both drop when doped."

"""You deleted your search history. Good move. But you forgot about something..."" *cop gets all up in suspect's face* ""Targeted. Banner. Ads."""

"The wonderful world of Ironi ""Saw an asian classmate eat ramen and thought 'how typical' than looked down at my El Pollo Loco"" - Hispanic colleague"

"What's cold and comes in April? Her dad."

"How many cocks does it take to make your mother cry? None!"

"What kind of mushroom gets beat up the most? A shiitake mushroom"

"The Pope is hardly the first person to lose interest in their real job so soon after joining Twitter."

"Don't bother putting your hand over my mouth to shut me up, I will lick you."

"[every 3 hours] You know what screw it jm going to treat myself"