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Joke of the Day

"Cheesy joke What did the big cheese round say to the baby cheese round? Getting older isn't going to make you the big cheese."

"[on a date] HER: any accomplishments? ME: yeah, i'm an award winning [eyes darting around] award winning [sees a dog] dog... liker HER: awww"

"What do you call a hippopotamus in an I.C.U.? Hippo-critical."

"Woman goes to a psychiatrist convinced her house is made of celery. Psychiatrist tells her he's seen this sort of thing before ... it's called stalk home syndrome."

"Tonight I'm having a party for people who struggle to reach an orgasm just lemme know if you can't come"

"As a non-english native redditor ... Edit: grammer"

"Last time I wore my celery costume out in public I was arrested for stalking."

"Minimum Wage, Maximum Rage: The life of a Twitter opinion haver"

"Irishman Walks Out of A Bar"

"A cop pulled me over because he thought I was talking on a cell phone but really I was just rubbing a slice of pizza on the side of my face"