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Joke of the Day

"A cop pulled me over because he thought I was talking on a cell phone but really I was just rubbing a slice of pizza on the side of my face"

"ROAR Did you here about the lion joke it will make you ROAR!!!"

"BREAKING: An egg. I'm making scrambled eggs."

"Are anti-jokes still funny? Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead"

"When I lose a follower, I like to pretend they were Taken, then I go to Europe and shoot absolutely everyone."

"Why did the old lady stand in front of three rows of traffic? Cause she was a cunt. (Courtesy of my little brother.)"

"What's the difference between a bus driver and a cold? A bus driver knows the stops and a cold stops the nose."

"Civil War Jokes you say? I General Lee don't find them funny"

"I only drink out of jugs labelled XXX and I carry my money in a big sack with a dollar sign on the side. Everyone thinks I'm cool as hell."

"What do you call a fat gay guy? Flab-ulos!"