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Joke of the Day

"Since we're doing jokes in bad taste... What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? Halfway."

"When you unfollow me, I find your name on a Coke bottle, shake it up, put it back on the shelf and whisper ""suck it"" under my breath."

"My coworkers will stand around confused during a fire drill but the office turns into the Hunger Games when there's lunch brought in by reps"

"A really drunk guy... A really drunk guy gets into a taxi and says ""Heeeyy cab guy, can I leave the pizza and the beer in the front seat?"" ""yeah no problem"" -BHLUAGHH-"

"Q: What is the difference between a banjo and an Uzi submachine gun? A: An Uzi only repeats 40 times."

"Shot my first turkey today.. scared the shit out of everyone in the frozen food section..."

"Teachers of the modern era who still expect hard copies of assignments can't bitch when I turn in a margarita-soaked paper."

"Q. Where do tired linedancers go for Breakfast? A. Ihop"

"How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. I'm serious! That Israeli how he does it!"

"Why did the chicken cross the road?... It chickened out. (Sorry if repost) (Also, first post so be nice :) )"