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Joke of the Day

"My car was like ""change my oil"" & I was like ""change it yourself, stupid"" & it was like ""I can't, I'm an inanimate object"" & then we laughed"

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"How many glasses of wine equals two servings of fruit? Asking for a friend."
"Why did the chicken cross the road? *To get to the other side.*"
"A guy asked me who's chips and cheese that is ""Nachos"""
"In the presidential election, who does the elephant vote for? Donald Trunk."
"A woman went to the bar with a black eye. ""How'd ya get that?"" asked the bartender. ""From my husband,"" she replied. ""But I thought he was out of town?"" he asked. ""So did I!"" she said."
"What kind of sweets do trucks like? Lorrypops."
"20 yrs from now they'll make a movie on how Leonardo DeCaprio never won an Oscar. Plot twist the actor playing him wins an Oscar."
"Mercurian day So - apparently one day on Mercury is an agonisingly long 1408 earth hours long... In other words - one Earth Monday."
"What do you call a horse who likes crackers? Seatriscuit"
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