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Joke of the Day

"So my girlfriend came over and wanted breakfast So I offered her my personal salami and if she tried hard enough she could get some dipping sauce as well"

"How are children like slinkies? It's fun to toss them down stairs."

"What's the difference between a porcupine and a Mercedes? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside."

"My friend is deaf in his left ear. His hearing is alright."

"What did the termite say to the chair? .... It was nice knawing you."

"Got 3 boxes of tampons, Midol & Ibuprofen at the store. Checker was so scared he paid for my shit & carried it out for me."

"Why didn't the Romans try to kill Jesus after he rose from the dead? They were too afraid to double cross him."

"After 20 years of marriage, I still get blow jobs. If my wife finds out, she'll fucking kill me."

"What gets harder the more you play with it? A Rubik's cube, you dirty minded individuals!"

"Charlie couldn't believe he was being allowed into the Chocolate Factory... ...his girlfriend had been dead against it for years!"