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Joke of the Day

"Charlie couldn't believe he was being allowed into the Chocolate Factory... ...his girlfriend had been dead against it for years!"

"Korean response to Dogs Wearing Pantyhose, A Popular New Meme in China They look delicious.....I mean cute."

"A girl gave me a dirty look for holding the door... Sheez, I'll never hold the door for them again especially when I have to piss badly."

"A Blackjack dealer is arrested for pedophilia... He will hit on anything 16 and under."

"Today I made a boat with a lot of ballast on the hull. It made turning a bit of a *drag*."

"What jobs have you found out about that made you think ""why does this exist""?"

"instead of a fancy wedding cake how about get a cool expert karate guy to roundhouse kick cupcakes into everyone's mouths"

"Unwritten rule: if you find an unconscious security guard you have to drag him to a supply closet and change into his uniform."

"I'm living on the edge. I haven't backed up in weeks"

"Wait so does Smashing Pumpkins refer to destroying pumpkins or are they just super good pumpkins in England"