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Joke of the Day
"Heard about the Polish Coyote? Chewed three legs off.. and still had one in the trap."
Next Joke
"An Atheist and a Christian walk into a bar... ...they proceed to have a few drinks and enjoy each others company because they're not pretentious assholes"
"NEW EXPRESSIONS ""Kanye bless you."" ""Kanye damn it!"" ""One nation, under Kanye."" ""Thank Kanye Almighty!"" ""The Kanyefather, Part II"""
"What do you do when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your TV floating in the air? You shout, ""Drop it, Nigga!"""
"What did the nutrionist say to the zombies as they were breaking down the doors of a hospital in West Hollywood? ""Don't forget to eat your gays and invalids."""
"I'm taking part in a scavenger hunt. I have already killed twelve scavengers"
"Actors can get political in speeches if they want. Go for it. But imagine someone winning Wimbledon & going, ""Yay! I won! Save the whales!"""
"My girlfriend caught me masturbating to porn on my phone... She looked at me seductively and asked if she could help. I said sure, could you hold my phone?"
"So the Dali-Lama walks into a pizza shop... and asks the pizza guy, ""Can you make me one with everything?"""
"Let's hear it for snow!.. The only time that four inches can keep a woman in bed all day."