124043

Joke of the Day

"So the Dali-Lama walks into a pizza shop... and asks the pizza guy, ""Can you make me one with everything?"""

"Wore a hospital gown to work today and faked a cough for 5 minutes, and they said I could have the break room all to myself."

"F*ck the zombie apocalypse, it's never going to happen. Worry about the f*cktard apocalypse, it's already upon us."

"Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop I eat mop who? ( say it out loud )"

"I got my results from the doctor today. The positive news is I've got HIV."

"So I caught my friend out the other night bumming a fag... ... He really has to start buying his own cigarettes."

"so a comedian is sent out in war he ends up doing puns of damage to the enemy"

"In my experience, people who say ""I'm not trying to be difficult,"" don't really seem to be trying all that hard."

"How to get on the front page Not like this."

"Stephen Hawking walks into a bar... ... Just kidding"