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Joke of the Day

"So the Dali-Lama walks into a pizza shop... and asks the pizza guy, ""Can you make me one with everything?"""

"Reese Witherspoon was hit by a car in Los Angeles this morning. To be fair, the driver had just watched Four Christmases."

"Trump getting elected after Obama was not what they meant by Orange is the New Black"

"What do you call a fallen tree in a forest? Natural log. Sorry about the math joke."

"I lost my dictionary today. I can't find the words to express my dissapointment."

"How many Southerners does it take to change a lightbulb? Change? Whatever do you mean, *change*?"

"a good dentist and a bad dentist finds out about a new candy store opening good dentist: oh man, i hope the people who go there brush and floss regularly bad dentist: ALRIGHT!!! job security!"

"German Did you hear about the new German microwave oven? It seats 25."

"Maybe don't show me a picture if you don't want me to rate your baby."

"Deep sleep prevents aging. Especially when you are driving."