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Joke of the Day

"NEW EXPRESSIONS ""Kanye bless you."" ""Kanye damn it!"" ""One nation, under Kanye."" ""Thank Kanye Almighty!"" ""The Kanyefather, Part II"""

"I guess FIFA had to pee cause they couldn't hold their Blatter anymore."

"CATCHING A SQUIRREL Q: How do you catch a squirrel? A: Climb up a tree and act like a nut."

"I don't mean to brag about my patience, but I just waited 5 whole seconds before passing a student driver and flicking them off."

"You wanna hear a joke about Ebola? You probably won't get it."

"Why didn't Johnny go to the 7 A.M. funeral? Because he just isn't a mourning person."

"Why doesn't the Grinch like knock knock jokes? Because there's always Whos there!"

"Did you know about this breed of horses? This breed can jump higher than the average house. You might think, WOW, how can this be? Well, it has very strong legs and the average house can't jump."

"It's so easy to kick a midgets ass All you have to do is raise your foot barely off the ground."

"I try to make good food, but it all turns to shit."