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Joke of the Day

"Actors can get political in speeches if they want. Go for it. But imagine someone winning Wimbledon & going, ""Yay! I won! Save the whales!"""

"Just saw a coyote next to the highway. I hope this tunnel ahead isn't just painted on."

"If you're a chick who says ""chivalry is dead"" I hate to be the one to tell you, but its only dead for you because you're ugly."

"The knowledge that Jersey Shore is known as ""Macaroni Rascals"" in Japan may just be the most important of my lifetime."

"Corduroy pillows.... Corduroy pillows are making headlines!"

"Three guys walk into a bar... John Wick kills them with a pencil. A fucking pencil."

"What's the most awkward U.S state? O....Hi!.....o....."

"Pot is a gateway drug. But the gateway is cluttered with gallons of ice cream & stacks of pizza, so it's hard to pass through."

"Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of the boat? 'cause if they fell forward, they'd still be in the Fuckin' boat! I'll show myself out."

"What type of fighting technique do amputees practice? Partial arts."