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Joke of the Day

"You know how people play video games by pushing all the buttons at once? That's how I'm handling adulthood."

"STDs are like pokemons... To be cool, you gotta catch 'em all."

"Giraffe: That's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen! [5 min later] *vomits*"

"What do you call a blonde with two brain cells? Pregnant!"

"Why do suicide bombers have 72 virgins? one for each chunk."

"You guys wanna hear a construction joke? I'm working on it."

"What do dwarves use to cut their pizza? Little Caesars"

"Tasteless Joke (NSFW) Knock Knock, Who's There? Two Dead Babies"

"What's the difference between your wife and your job? After five years, your job will still suck."

"The nephew I'm babysitting has been in a corn maze since Thursday, but I rationalize by thinking he has plenty to eat."