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Joke of the Day

"""She loves me not..."" : Picks last petal : ""She LOVES ME!"" Flower: ""...NOT! LOL nerd"" : Whips out hidden petal shaped like middle finger :"

"My friend tried to convince me that hard drugs should remain illegal... ...but his argument had no substance."

"""Hey Ernie do you want some ice cream?"" ""Sherbet."""

"Why did Yoda never get married? Because when he was standing by alter, and asked ""If he would take this women as his lawful wedded wife?"" His response was ""Do I?"""

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Because of its silent P."

"*pulls up pants* Me: It feels like I've got the world's worst wedgie! Proctologist: That's normal. M: ... P: Hey... Have you seen my glove?"

"What did one snowman say to the other snowman? Smells like carrots."

"I thought you were trying to get into shape? I am. The shape I've selected is a triangle."

"People who try to stop you on the street to sell stuff are the real world equivalent of online pop-ups."

"Welcome to White Privilege 101, if you have no idea why you're here that's exactly why you're here."