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Joke of the Day

"Why did Yoda never get married? Because when he was standing by alter, and asked ""If he would take this women as his lawful wedded wife?"" His response was ""Do I?"""

"(Work in progress) I want to have sex with a news reporter. I want to have sex with a news reporter. As soon as enter her, I want to scream ""This Just In!"""

"What did Mr.T say when he saw a fat lady at the bar? I pity the stool!"

"Tits are like Lego bricks... They're there for the kid, but dad ends up playing with them."

"So I was dating this girl with a lazy eye... It would have worked out, but I discovered she was seeing someone on the side"

"Charlie couldn't believe he was being allowed into the Chocolate Factory His girlfriend had been so against it for years"

"What does a bull do to stay warm on a cold day? It goes into a barn and slips into a nice warm Jersey."

"Wow, you've got a lot of hickeys Kris. Me: Busy weekend *winks *remembers wrestling that octopus at the aquarium for giving me side eye."

"Why don't black people go on cruises? They aren't falling for that again..."

"What do you call a group of JD Salingers? A Humble Hindi Bundle."