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Joke of the Day
"I thought you were trying to get into shape? I am. The shape I've selected is a triangle."
Next Joke
"What does Green Day say before bed? Green night"
"Office assistant is throwing darts at a picture of her boss. Phone rings. It's the boss. Boss: What are you doing right now? Assistant: Missing you."
"Two canibals are having a meal . . . One looks at the other and says, ""Man I hate my mother-in-law!"" The second one shrugs and replies, ""Then try some of the potatoes."""
"What sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mom."
"What did the cow is standing all alone in a field say? Where are the udders? (Thanks to my three boys for that one!)"
"Umm, no officer. I'm pretty sure that bag of weed fell out of YOUR pocket."
"If my dick were a card... (x-post from r/hearthstone) ...It'd have overload because you can't take it all at once."
"It is said that the Welsh were the first to use condoms, by making them out of sheep intestines. But the English perfected this technique by removing them from the sheep first."
"What did the gay guy with Alzheimer's ask his partner? Where did I drop the soap?"