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Joke of the Day

"In Hell, someone is constantly vacuuming while you're trying to explain directions to an old man."

"I thought you were Russian... ...but it turns out you were just Stalin and Putin me off."

"How does a dog catcher gets paid? by the pound."

"My car's check engine light turned on, so I checked it. Yep, still there! Moving on."

"When did mathematicians get their independence? March 14."

"Where does an Afghan boy go during a drone strike? Everywhere."

"that fuzzy feeling when he puts his arm around u for the first time and then his other arm and then his other arm then u realize HE A SPIDER"

"I think somebody went on my Facebook without me knowing... Everything on it is French now."

"Confuse the cable guy when he finally shows up at your house by telling him he'll have to wait outside until your favorite TV show is over."

"Oldie.....Mexico will never win an Olympic medal in swimming or track and field..... ... because every Mexican who can run, jump or swim lives in the United States."